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Remind me that I am alive later because I feel like I am in hell. Is this what you call life? Pfft. Its my own world where someone can kill me and I'd still be alive. Wait, I think my mother have already killed me once or twice. Let me check. Okay, I seemed to have a couple of pulses.

*catches breath* The internet didnt work yesterday.. and I've got too much to say. Thats enough to kill someone right?

I hate driving. Actually, I hate people. No, this world. No.. this universe. I am such a hateful person, I know. But what else can I say? I just want to bury myself away from the rest of the world until they can finally see what is so wrong.

Yes, I passed the stupid written test. I dont see what so hard about it. Thats the easy part, alright? Although I was already shaky by that moment because I stood in line FIVE times because we were missing something each time before. Turns out they needed my passport for ID.. then my driving school certificate. Just because I'm a minor. Ugh. My mother was about to faint.. poor her. But then she blamed it all on me because shes like saying.. "Oh yes, you see all I'm doing for you?"

And I said.. "Well, I'm NOT the one that made the appointment for today!!" Grr. We both were equally mad. Who knew that we had to go through this process? The horrors of DMV. But at least we had an appointment.. the other line was MILES long.. seriously. It looked like I was the youngest one there. But I just looked young.. doesnt mean I am.. I'm just old enough for the provisional license... thats all I can say.

I missed 4. Bleh.. I was still pissed because my instructor gave me wrong answers.. but thats okay.. I still passed. 7 was the most you can miss to pass. I took my picture.. thumbprint and all. Then the fucking eye exam. How was I supposed to know I was supposed to wear my fucking contact lenses? I know, I never ever (well, hardly) swear, but I am pissed. So I couldnt get my permit... just because of that. And I couldnt stand it anymore.

They made us wait in line FOUR fucking times..

They made us go back home TWO times. [Its a nice long drive too.. there and back]

And I was like staring that that person behind the counter and was going to scream but I cried instead. I was going to KILL someone if it wasnt myself. I kicked myself several times to see if I was really awake because sometimes I would have really bizarre dreams before an exam.. but noo, I really wasnt sleeping. Damn it.

So I'd have to wait a week. I'm so tired of waiting. I've waited all my life. And I've wasted half my life.

And afterwards I waited for my mother again in the car at the office because I just wanted to go home. Well, it dragged on for HOURS and I think I dozed off and before I knew it, 2 hours have passed. So there goes my appointment for one at my friend's house. I was supposed to meet there as soon as possible, but it was too late.

So nothing really got done. I didn't get my permit. I didnt go to my friend's house. I didnt make any progress on my current schoolwork.

Tell me why I am alive.

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