food, talks, annoyance
(2000-12-11) 23:03:05
Am I even alive? *pinches* I dont even think I felt that. *pinches harder* Okay, that just proves I still havent fully waken up yet. I think I just slept through school. In fact, I hardly recall going to school today. I remembered several faces. Several smiles, frowns, happiness, and anger... which I dont even know belongs to. Maybe I need to eat. Wait, I had. I attacked the fridge as soon as I had gotten home. Its part of my mind psychology to always grab something to eat afterschool.. something to chew on, even if Im not particularly hungry. Several times though, I had to withdraw this craving because there werent any edible food. Of course then, I went on a rampage, running up and down frustrated because I didnt get my food. Eventually I'd calm down and settle in my comfy chair and begin my work. Moral of this short.. very short story? Nothing. Exactly the point of my life. Nothing. My life is pointless. To illustrate it furthermore, theres my tendency to get annoyed. Anything that has to do with me, that doesnt, that's near me, thats heard of either pisses me off or doesnt. That seems like a logical statement, doesnt it? Except that it strikes to be 99.9% of the time Im fuming because someone said or did something that struck a nerve. Im not exactly sure what are the borders of conversation or action. I know, so that people shouldnt.. 1) make me feel uncomfortable either by irony or coincidence 2) make me feel like I've done something wrong (either when I really was or not. just tell me instead) 3) change their minds (fickle pickle) 4) lie... lying, dont even try. 5) cheat. a lot like lying but its more action type 6) cry. complain. even though I do it more than anybody, but Im always annoyed at myself. 7) have vainness. I know you all love yourself, but at least have the decency to tell that to yourself.. only yourself 8) say (not write) unnessecary things. this strikes at least 5 nerves. 9) be only after me for my fries, ghardettos, chex or whatever snacks I have in my hand. GO GET YOUR OWN! but then again, I steal other peoples too..but not in handfuls! 10) be only talking about their hair, makeup, BOYFRIENDS, and l-a-t-e-l-y.. the FORMAL. Why is it 'sad' that Im not going to the winter formal? I do NOT want to spend who knows how much on a dress and things on a guy that I dont particularly like (no names). I would actually like to have fun if I wa s going to spend that much. Besides, none of my really good friends are going.. so err yeah :) Last year, everyone actually went since it was freshmen year and new for everyone. This year, everyone kind of lost interest, and umm died? I guess we're still retaliating from the sophomore blow... the harshness of time. I still refuse to believe Im an year older than last year. Although I sense that I've been 15 for way too long. I cant actually remember when Im 14 because I remember before I was even 15, I told everyone I was 15, because it was close to my birthday. Im still not talking to certain people. I refused to talk to Grain because he was being awfully rude so I decided not to talk to him and I hadnt. (wow, that was a long conjunction) On the other hand, I couldnt talk to some people since I couldnt find them. Grrr so I just decided to talk to myself to keep myself company.
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