short and full of white
(2000-11-09) 19:30:23
Someone just knocked on our door. The persistent knocking finally made me get out of the comfort of my chair. I couldn't resist once I saw the edges of the flowers.. It was a delivery of a bought of white roses and daisies. I signed for it, and carefully carried it on the table. I looked on the small tag, half-imagining that its for my grandmother. Of course I was brain dead in thinking that it can be. What bothered me was that its white.. White? I know in funerals Americans dress in black.. its black for funeral.. white for weddings. I read somewhere Chinese people wore white for funerals.. it bothered me. Although its just a old belief, these contrasting colors does make a difference. Even then I felt like I should be doing something... am I supposed to comfort whats happening to our family? We've learned to accept the consenquences of life. Even if this death didn't occur now, it would in the future. I think I'm starting to actually accept the fact.. a few days earlier I was too scared to even mention death in my writing. (If you looked earlier..) It felt like such a peaceful day.. and I could feel the cold wind making me shiver, but I didn't feel cold.. even if my hands were frozen stiff.
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