index� archives� notes� profile� rings� design� diaryland

I now know that anything can happen... and how death is not pretty.. not simple... not anything to be taken lightly. Seeing her body has shaken me up so much that just her image helped me to strengthen me. I know I dont want to be seen like that.. my body frozen with everyone staring at me.

I told Lisa that I want to be burned when I die.. she said she wants to be burned too. The whole funeral was so formal and I dont want anyone to go through all this trouble when I die.. People think its respectful for the person.. I just think its out of peoples guilt. Its when they want to make amends for what they didnt do when the person was alive... but its too late now since the persons dead.

I dont want that. I get what I get when I'm alive. I dont want anymore when I'm dead. Its too late.. since the true nature of people shows only when everythings going well.. because when someone is dead, they might only act kind out of guiltiness. I want the true nature.. even if they spit on the coffin.. it doesnt matter. Its just sad that people are only kind just to make themselves feel better... its a selfish world.

previous & next