any where you want.


here, you can have anything
(2003-06-25) 02:18

Now it's late enough that I've begun to see things. I swore I saw a spider out of the corner of my eyes but I turned and actually stared but could see nothing there. But then it's not late enough that I am so tired, though I am drowsy and sleepy, maybe. I should sleep soon, I suppose but there's too much on my mind. I should be happy. I'll have a job. I'll be taking an interesting summer class. I'll have shows to go to. And...a boy. I am not sure, should I be grateful for him? My stomach is queasy again. I am 18. I should be mature enough to handle this. But I am still running away like I used to back in junior high. What am I so afraid of?

Go for it people keep telling me. What's the problem? The problem is that I can't do this thing. It has nothing to do with him. I don't feel myself ready to make any type of commitment.

Is it a big coincidence we share the same birthdate? May 24th. Yes, except he was born in '83, I was born in '85. He is 20, I am 18, exactly 2 years apart.

Should I be creeped out?

I haven't talked to him about our "date" Sunday night...barely spoken 2 words to him Monday, and haven't had contact with him any time Tuesday.

Hmm. What should I make of it?

How did things get so complicated within 5 days? From single status, to this complicated not-quite-single, but not-quite-attached status?

previous & next

from yawen.