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I'm addicted to mint chocolate. Seriously.. I could not stop. Not until I got sick at least. It's one after another. And then another. And then another. It cools my lungs all the way down to my stomach... and yet, left a chocolate-y feeling. What more can I desire?

I gulped down slices of orange to change this immense craving. By then, I was already sick to the stomach. I think I have a mild case of mint chocolate poisoning. Hey, it was great when it melted in my mouth, alright? How would I know that it'll conflict with my poor acidic stomach? That bad little thing.

I discovered this: Sexynerds, a domain listing thing. I think it used to be somewhere else, because I remember submitting to another site. I also submitted Katrina's domain for her a while ago ;) I just thought it was strange that any listing would include me. Evidently, I was the one that added it..

My guestbook seems to be my only source of entertainment. I love how these random people would come and drop little notes about either my diary or domain. That's what my life has resorted to. This. I really like this song. "This Town" by KoRn and Veruca Salt. It seems to be the opposite of "Leaving Town" by Dexter Freebish, but a contrast is good and healthy, is it not? Such music remains in my head during the subtle silences. It's haunts me at times when my head is empty and nothing else is in mind. And songs would play automatically. Catchy songs. I'd hum the melodies... it's a daily routine, I say. Yes, my mind is a lovely jukebox. Those old days.

I recruited another hostee to Comatised. This time, it is different. Her name is Kayleigh, at Comatised.com/disenchanted. I realized a way to let someone upload their files to my server without FTP. So I can host anyone now. I have a problem with rejection though.. I can't just say to a person wanting webspace on Comatised that they can't.. I only "rejected" two by not replying. But one is because I didn't know if I could actually host, and the other was just saying, "Yes, I don't like free webservers, that's why I want to be hosted." I really hate that, don't you? Domains costs money! Those free webservers PAY for their domain and it's really a miracle that they actually offer these free webhosting.. and without ads too! Even though right now, I'm not paying for mine, but someone else still is. I'm not being a snot.. but I worked hard on designing and writing for this reward..

I forgot to mention.. you know how in the last entry I posted up four pictures? Well, two of the pictures are from 8/20/00. I just realized that it had been one of my best friend's birthday. Arggh. I wonder what she must have felt like. That summer.

I still can't believe how lucky I am to have this domain. YouthofAmerica was just open in their contest for a domain. All they required was to write a good reason.. and samples of past work. So that's what I did.. I submitted all the past sites that I've done. Apparently they liked it. Loved it, as I'm told. It was a miracle.. for me anyway. I've hardly ever won anything. In fact, have I even won anything in the past? No... I don't recall anything. And you know what? What is the contest now? It is not simply to submit a "reason" to win a domain. But yet, you have to do more. You'll have to use the features of YouthofAmerica and they'll decide who will win. I hate those.. because it requires no skills; just luck, which I don't have. Comatised is my baby. I want to own it, dammit. But for now, I'm content.

I'd talk about this with my friends (in real life) and they'd seem mildly interested. What they don't understand was that I was interwined between two lives: real and internet. It's completely different. This life here consists mostly of writing and exploring. I've discovered so much. Good writing, horrible writing. It gives me inspiration, from what I see. It started nearly 3 years ago, when I was 13, I've discovered this wonder. I began making a webpage. Did I ever tell you it's one of those sucky ones at Angelfire? Of course... didn't everyone start theirs at those places? ;) Yes, that's waaaay before Diaryland. Diaryland is my growth into the middle ages of my internet life. Now, I'm crawling toward the older years. I'm curious though.. just where did you people start this webpage thing? Here? Or did you have a history elsewhere? Hmm. Tell me.

I have these pictures in my mind. I almost refused to do my World War II project. It's so offensive to me for some reason. Maybe I just can't separate the past from the present. It's so depressing that I can't stand it. I don't know why am I so sensitive to learning about something about the past that doesn't have to do directly with me. Yet, I feel sick that these creatures existed to torture, kill and then enjoy others of their own kind. I'm not only talking about Adolf Hitler. But of what the Japanese did in the Nanking massacre. I was not born in China, nor was I affliated with the country, but it's just sick learning about it. How they were killed (by chopping off their heads much like in the ancient regime) and hundreds and thousands of women were raped along the way. Not only young women, but old too. All this time, they bragged about their achievements. Do you blame me for refusing to study this material? But I'd have to. I just failed an essay. I didn't care about Communism. That's why I failed. I had to explain why it never worked. What a pointless paper, I know. It just doesn't work, didn't anyone understand?

If there was a country that I felt sorry for, it was France. Maybe it was my studying French for three years, or maybe it was just general sympathy, but I just feel this sweet empathy for this country. During the 18th century, the French dominated Western Europe... there was Napolean and all. Before I studied him in my history class this year, I always thought that he was bad. But.. he was not bad compared to some other dictators.. well. So then, during World War II, they were so weak, that the Germans occupied the country. Later, the Americans came to free France from German occupation. We saw a film on it. It was so horribly cute that this American was attempting to say French. "Nous sommes Americain.." after much asking how to say things in French. And the French went crazy over these Americans... especially those cute young ones.

Unfortunately, we watched another film pertaining to World War II in lit as well. This time, it was "In The Attic".. the hiding of Anne Frank. At least it didn't brutally show the massacres of the Holocaust. (shudders) I've already seen "Life is Beautiful". Although it's one of my most favorite films... I can't bear to watch another film of its genre. I can't stand these inhumanity acts. But the ending was incredible. That little boy saw a tank coming his way and he thought he won a prize. But turns out to be American. You could totally see that these films are aimed toward Americans.. look how they portray them! Friendly and a symbol of triumph.

I'm rambling on again. I've hardly noticed that I've been scrolling for pages. Sometimes I'm just too involved with myself. People would have to kick me or something to get me to concentrate. Well, do something! Maybe I'll sleep now. That's a command. So I shall.. *yawns*

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