emotionally poisoned
(2000-12-09) 01:29:03
I read a depressing quote, "Do I have to remember that I'm still beautiful if no one else will?" No. Im always wondering why am I so depressed all the time.. I know I have psychological problems of some sort, but I thought it'd pass because.. well, I guess I refuse to believe I have any problems. Im not the only one.. when I told my friends, they believed I was normal and arent suffering from a mental disorder of any kind. I know Im not the only one in the world suffering.. Still, everyone around me seems so happy.. even me to myself sometimes when I'd catch myself laughing at something thats not even funny. Im tired of the world.. of changing for the world.. (specifically? people) I dont want to do anything... but I realized if I.. myself arent satisfied, this would not stop. I've been poisoned for too long.. by other people.. especially by the media.. (TV shows..) I'd watch them and see how their interesting lives contrast mine. I think thats the only reason I watch.. because I lack the excitement from my own life.. Its really pathetic, but thats really my life isnt it?
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