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I can't shake away my addictive behavior. I can't even stop listening to the same music.

I haven't explained the header for this diary, have I? It says blatantly, "Nothing in life will come that easy." It's a line from my favorite song at the moment, "Leaving Town" by Dexter Freebish. I know I've mentioned the song at least ten times, but I am so in love that I have to listen to the song over and over again.

And as if that's not enough, I made one of my best friends to like it too. But then it might just be that we have the same taste in music. She rocks ;)

I love sentimental songs like these, because it appeals to my emotion.. it suits my every mood. So that's what prompted the layout. Dexter Freebish. They are Gods. Okay, so not exactly. For some reason, I've been drifting away from these kind of alternative songs because they don't energize me anymore.. but theirs stuck.

I guess that I'm under a lot of stress lately. There is a lot of work around this time of the year. But I like the season... its changing. To beautiful spring. And the things I've been studying are haunting me. What am I studying? World War II. Of course it's going to haunt me. The name Hilter just makes me sick. And Mussolini. It's not really that he's a horrible person, but its just the whole war. The holocaust. Sick, sick, sick!

(sighs) And I'm taking the SATs on June 2, 2001... without even taking PSATs.. am I crazy? Ugh. I suck. I really do. Is there any other way? But of course SATs are my fate. I am 16.. at least, I'm near 16. So I have to take it. And it doesn't measure ANYTHING... except the ability to take tests well. Not intelligence.. which is great I guess considering that I don't have any. I don't have anything.

My cousin only got around a 1010 or something and she got accepted to several great universities because she had great "leadership" skills. Grr.. I don't even have any skills. What have I done? Nothing.

Stressing out again. Oh, shoot me or something. I don't WANT to think about the SATs. There's no time. I'd fail and even get lower than the president of United States.. I swear.. I BETTER not get lower than George W. Bush! (1206) Because, I'd cry forever and ever. That's my goal.. higher than him. Pathetic huh? Yes, very.

I'll shut up now and go back to my poor French homework which I've neglected.

Damn, I still need to finish reading over 700 pages of "East of Eden" by John Steinbeck. His books really bother me... but this book is supposed to be good. The last book I read by him? "Of Mice and Men." Its sad.. Its.. well. Yes, I better go.

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