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it's so often a fairy tale
(2004-09-22) 14:33

One day I'm going to look back and think it's all so silly. You know, sitting here in my apartment two hours away from home, I thought I'd be okay. But I'm re-settling into situations that are outdated. None of it can be recreated. It's different now, even with most of the same people. What can I expect?

Why do I have to be so far away from the people I miss the most currently? I miss Mish and Helen and Shereen and our inside jokes. And Damien with his eyeliner and "gay" jokes.

I don't want to search for more than I can receive. I don't want to keep my hopes up. I don't want end up painfully brokenhearted again. That means I should stop searching for male companionship I suppose. No more "comforting" encounters.

Yet I can never resist that... "you are amazing" I can pretend it's real.

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