breaking down the system
(2004-09-15) 17:48
What more can I provide you? Except my fake smiles and words. It's easier to pretend than tell you what an immature loser you are, right? It's been 6 weeks. I'm still counting. I thought maybe I'd heal faster in a foreign country. I thought it was romantic dealing with a heartbreak, crying to foreign boys, kissing them and letting them tell you how special you are even though they've only known you for an hour. But it doesn't matter, does it? As long as they can hold you in their strong arms. The familiarity sinks in and all you can do is give in to them, because you think you need men. All you want to be is in this alterted state. Forever. Or at least until you think you're healing. (and you think that multiple times...until you see the boy with another girl)
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