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I'm just sneaking here to write.

Arggh, I cannot concentrate on anything. This morning, when I woke up, I thought that I was going to do everything. I was going to study, do my French work, my lit question, chem worksheet study, do notes for history, and do my review sheet for math. I didn't do ANY of them. No. I do not have the motivation. I never had.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I just had to write after staring at my own diary for hours at a time. Since when does the design really mattered? I kept staring at everything in this current design. The stars sparkling. The crumpled menu thingy. The gluey 3D princess crown. I felt like I lived inside this world.. since it's so 3Dish. Look at even the entry area. If only I lived in that world. I love the night. The only problem is that I love the hot sun too.

Can there EVER be a sunny hot night? Of course not.

I guess that's the belief that I hold. I always try to reach for an impossible fantasy and that's why I never get anywhere. I told you. All my logical sense have slipped away somehow. Maybe a little bit has remained at the bottom.. but I think it's almost nonexistant now. If I had any sense, wouldn't I be attacking my work right now? I just can't balance my work well enough. Sure, I can write in my journals.. but I have to put my schoolwork as first priority. And why the HELL do I have five journals at a time anyway? Well, I like to write. Okay? I just like to. And each journal holds its own purpose. I am not going to put weird random AIM conversations, drawings, poems in this diary! That's for another diary.. a certain one that's not working at the moment. *glares*

Okay I'm going to get back to my work or else I'd never finish. I think I'm going to spend the whole night up.. if I can take it. (sigh) Why do I need sleep anyway? Maybe if I sleep less enough, I'd die and I wouldn't have to worry about the stupid testings and such. I won't have to worry.. but then of course we wouldn't want to die, would we? La.

Maybe not.

I want a pleasant dream this time.. All bluey and pinky and with soft cotton balls all over the sky. Yeah, right. I don't think I ever have bright colors in my dreams anymore. Just gray and black. That's all.

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