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I had an interesting conversation with my mother.

As we passed the college that was "planning to be bombed", she pointed it out, and then the subject of the suspect began. I said it probably wasn't even going to be bombed, and my mother says, yes, they found evidence! I countered that there was no actual evidence that he [the suspect] was actually going to carry out the plan, but she says, of course he is. I went by the American rule: "Innocent until proven guilty." I know that some countries like France is "Guilty until proven innocent" but I am American, am I not?

The thing is, the suspect who was accused of planning a bomb attack on the college was a highly intelligent and creative person, according to his aquaintances. They say he was not violent at all in nature.. but maybe they oversaw his depression. My friend also pointed that out, and she even sympathized with him. It must have taken a lot of sadness to spend two years planning this massacre.. and he must have had psychotic problems.

That is another disagreement between my mother and I. When I told her that the suspect must have had depression, she said it does not excuse his behavior. I told her that sometimes depression can cause psychotic mental problems, and therefore, cannot behavior is uncontrollable. I am guessing my mother has not experienced this spin of uncontrollable feelings, but I have. She should know though, because she majored in psychology.

I am freaked out for two reasons. 1) No one may never know who might turn out psychotic.. anyone can suddenly turn toward violence as a result of depression and/or other hidden problems. 2) I may turn this way. I told my friend this and she said that I will never turn this way because I'd have to have an incredible urge to kill a lot of people and that I am just not that kind of person. But what if I do? I already cant control my feelings. I have already gone insane.

Help me. Before I get sucked in. I am afraid.

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