suddenly the world is insane
(2001-03-07) 01:59:55
I have 4 hostees now. Wow.. Comatised is growing :) My newest hostee is Caitlin. But I'm not sure if my first hostee is still there.. because ever since the service was interrupted, I didn't hear from her. Oh well. I'm content with all these lovely people. They're great at designing.. and so nice. I cant believe I went on AIM right after school. I had forgotten how addictive it was. It was so familiar.. this chatting thing. I hardly ever chat. I just go on some pages... write in some journals and thats it. *sigh* Well, thats not only the strange thing. We had the long block period today.. which means extended hour.. an hour and a half of each class, although only four classes. So, that meant, a loooong time in a single class. In French, we did that skit thing I was talking about. Yes, I did say, "Papa, je t'aime" but it wasn't as dramatic and funny as we thought. People laughed (especially the teacher) but it was just... so out of place. I didn't even want this. The person who was I was working with wanted it.. he also added, "C'est bon. C'est tres bon." for another line.. which was the line that Wayne, that English guy in the episode "Cafe des Reves" It was hilarious even to me. Because the guy had an English accent.. while attempting to say French. *laughs her head off* And then Zldkjreubfkjdf (like he really needs a name) came over and stabbed me in the head with a lobster (a fake plastic one of course) Great way to get my attention, huh? Asked me about that Chemistry make up work. Said that he hated me (or was it my imagination? My mind is going wild these days) because he didn't "lose" most of my work. I only realized why he asked me because he wasn't in class next period! (No wonder it was awfully quiet.) Usually when he's there, everyone will start talking and I'd get so distracted that I'd have no idea what the teacher is talking about. But wait. I don't think I still have any idea though. Yes, its the same Chemistry teacher that made half of the class have F's. And Zelkrodifnlke (I'm aware his name changed again) got a complete Zero. *trying to refrain from laughter* Okay, you see, he really deserved THAT! I'm not bitter, no I am really not. It's just that he plays around.. and ditches class ALL the time. He doesn't deserve an A. I mean.. the last time, I remember him playing cards. Gosh. Anyway. But, I guess.. if he really does his homework.. *sigh* (And I try so hard in that class.. and actually pay attention and I get the same grade as that slacker. Maybe he really isnt a slacker but he is in that class. Is life not fair?) Some people are smart like that, you know. While I try so hard to do all my work.. and to basically learn.. I still get horrible grades. Then there are the others who doesnt try at all. I just cant do it. I cant be smart. I hate being this way.. really, I do. Being always myself.. being so stupid by making the same mistake everytime although I think I know what I am supposed to do. And sometimes I feel myself being someone else. I am completely transformed into this creature I can't control. I might not even be evil. I am just... another person. Its scary what I can be. And I am scared of that person. I don't want to be like that. I just want to be myself.. but its really hard to be myself when I don't really know what I am exactly. Am I supposed to be someone? I cant figure out why I am procrastinating on something I LIKE. But, then, I realized that I am not the only one. Its like I am afraid of not doing so well, so I am putting it off.. like it would help. Its really the main reason I procrastinate. Because I'm afraid of how its going to turn out.. But somehow. It'd still be something I like to do.. when I get to it, that is! Well, I'm just happy that I can wake up at 10:30am tommorow and would not be late for school.. in fact, I would probably still be early. School starts at 11:25am tommorow. Oh, thank you, California for making the freshmen take the Exit exam and not us. Poor freshmen though. But it should be easy. I heard that the highest math level on it was Algebra 1. That shouldn't be too hard, right? But then, I'm dying in Trig now.. (so many things to remember) Look at what this strange person on Napster said to me. (With no reply from me of course. I was away) < Groove_Beat_ > Tip: the music on your drive is old. Download FREE new dance/Trance mp3's, they are killers!! Go here: < Groove_Beat_ > http://www.mp3-megahits.com Strange world it is. I can never figure it out. Really.. This band is "trance" from Italy/Germany. Ummm... interesting. Thanks but No.
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