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I've been spending a lot of time writing in that code I was talking about earlier. No one in the world can read it besides probably two or three people. Although it's fairly easy to figure out, once you stare at if for hours :)

So, to demonstrate, I wrote one in PSP, since I don't have a scanner. Well, here it is:

I know, it just looks like a bunch of scribbles. But it really says, "Hey, everyone! Bleh". I think you can figure out why the letters are made that way now. You see, with the "H", the horizontal line between the two vertical is taken out to the right to make that strange character. Then, there's the "E". The lines are all rearranged. Heh, isn't it so interesting?

Anyway. It's saturday, and I am at home rotting agan. I actually do have a lot of work to do.. but I haven't had the time to go to the library and do some research so I'm just using that as an excuse not to work on those articles I should have done two weeks ago.

I'd have to research on these Russian people.. these people that contributed to the communist era.. the Soviet Union, yes. Communism might have been good if it had actually worked. But, you know.. it NEVER worked.. not in Russia, not in China.. not in North Korea. To me, communism is a dictatorship.. but that's my interpretation. It's really supposed to be the opposite.. the government is supposed to be "dissolved" because there will be no need for a government if the people really are in a communist state.

But it never works out.. people never thinks the same and won't work the way communism wants them to work and you've got a whole country someone's got to control. Dictatorship, you see?

We had to watch that film on Stalin. It was sick.. no, wait, HE was sick. He was so insane that it made me sick. His "crimes" made tens of millions of his own Russian people killed. It's so incredibly sad that these people exist. We need them.. but then, we don't. He drove his own son to kill himself.. because he told him that he couldn't marry a girl because she was Jewish. Then, when he shot himself, Stalin mutters, "Stupid kid. He can't even shoot straight." The son lives though. His wife also kills herself because she learns of his crimes and turned against him. The son later dies when the German captured him. And when Stalin heard the news, he said, "What son? I have no son."

After Stalin's death, the only living family member is his daughter, Svetlana, who afterwards lived in England. You know, he nearly killed every one that seemed to be a threat to him. It's strange how the only people that were against him publically lived.. and how the people that weren't directly against him got shot. It's just disturbing how people can end these lives so quickly.

And I have to research all these things. Dig up the past.. relive those moments of history which made up the world today. *sighs* I dont want to know how stupid people were. I already have to put up with myself.

Oh, by the way, Daniel set up a control panel with the website design. Wow.. So now I guess I can't change my layout. Okay, I can.. thats just an excuse... but I like how the control panel is right now :) You can test it by going here.. It's password protected, so the username is testuser, and the password is password. But, please, this is just for testing, so please don't add any pages. I guess you can just to test, but please delete it. I hope I don't have to hound you down because of it. I just want you to see what it's like :)

It's strange how he had figured out my complicated frames. You see, I don't make all my frames on the same page. I know.. I don't know why I make it so complicated.. but I've got a strange mind, okay? I don't think like everyone else.

So, hosting service has run into some problems, but it's running again, at least. I feel badly for making my hostees having to reupload their files over again :( But these downtimes are unexpected and I can't do anything about it. *sigh* And the thing is, it's not really on my server.. it's on Daniel's..

Well. Napster's going to either become a paid service or.. really limited in its files. So I am going to download like crazy. But after a while, I run out of songs to download. What is out there? Any suggestions? Or maybe I should get my butt of this chair and buy an actual CD (gasp). But you see, I am not rich enough to buy these things just out of personal pleasure. So, music will have to wait. Maybe I can get a Mp3 player.. who knows.

My mother had begun working at her new company. It's actually a pretty smart little company though people get confused at what they do. It's this golf-related product for teaching how to play golf... and they actually earn a lot of money this way because a lot of rich execs (And believe me, there is a lot in the Silicon Valley) play golf and they spend hundreds and these kind of things. The website is here.. I hope she's actually going to stay there for a while and not work too hard. She's in a lot of pain right now and so you can imagine how she acts around us.

Theres too many things going inside my head. Half of its confusion on what the other half is thinking.. and it kind of cancels out. So, really, I have no idea whats in my head. I know that I'm just tired of thinking so much about things that I shouldn't be thinking about so much. Like the things that happened last year. Recently, things that I have done in the past had begun to haunt me and it's not a very good feeling..

It just reminds me that I was foolish and I'd wonder what could happen if I hadn't made that mistake, which makes me even angrier that I had made the mistake and how my life isn't as perfect as I envisioned.

And then mad at myself for letting myself be absorbed in the thoughts of not only one person, but several.. and letting me be distracted.. majorly distracted by it. I hate how little things have the ability to control me. Then theres the embarassment. *sigh* I want to forget but I know that its always there. Its like stuffing junk that I dont want to deal with under my bed. Although I can't see it.. I know its messy down there.. but I just don't want to do anything about it. I'd promise that someday I would.. but I never get to it.

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