sunday mornings in a cobweb
(2001-06-10) 8:31 a.m.
Everyone is still sleeping on this lovely Sunday. The house is already bright with sunshine. It seems like such a cheerful day. Yet, I woke up with worry. I woke up stressing about today's film project. And how things are never going to get done.. and how I'm never going to get the time to study. I need to, dammit! Because the image of last semester is humiliating. This is my last chance. And I got up this early just to tell you that. And it's not even that early. It's just early for a Sunday. Everyone knows that Sunday morning typically starts at 10:30am unless you have church or something. I am going to listen to No Doubt to get my mind off of things. Some "Artificial Sweetener". I was going to lay in bed until like 9:00am. Then I thought of something. I remembered that so many years ago, when I was a seventh grader and I had hung out with my two older cousins a lot. They were almost my sisters and we had so much fun. I'd also meet their older friends and they'd always think I'm so cute because I'm so little. They were in high school, while I was still in junior high. And I remember discussing certain people. Lisa said how she showed my sticker picture to all her friends and how one guy commented that I was "cute". So I asked her who, and she mentioned a name and a picture. I had forgotten what was the exact name, but now that I thought of it, there is a 90% chance that it is Rs.. and maybe that's why he looked so familiar even though I SWEAR that I had never seen him in my whole life. Well, maybe not at the high school.. but when he was in junior high with her.. (I do remember that he went to the same junior high with her, which is a different one than I went to) And this all just clicked in my mind. Why didn't I think of it before? I couldn't sleep with this information in my head. I need to make a mental note to ask about this. I can't believe that everything is so connected. It's like I just discovered this huge cobweb right in front of me! The kind that can only be seen under a certain degree of sunlight.. it has a kind of invisibility. I just can't believe these situations. Is it even real? Maybe I just dreamed it all.. no no NO. I can't just shove my excuses on my dreams. (sigh) Well, I think I shall go and worry more about other things. Like how we don't even have a video camera!
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