early morning destroy sometimes
(2001-03-30) 5:23 a.m.
It's now almost 5:30am. Yes, AM. Early in the morning. Why? Because I was lazy and didn't have time to finish my work from last night. I'm sleepy and very irritated. Yes, I deserve this. Yes, I very much do. I want to teach myself a lesson. I want to show myself I can't always do this. I will collapse sometimes amidst this torture. My body can't take this lack of sleep any longer. Dammit. But why can't my brain register that? I'm still not working. Why cant it see that I'm killing myself this way? My friend was hysterical yesterday because she had so much work as well. So hysterical, in fact, that she said that maybe she'd accidently kill herself or something... which is so unlike her. She used to be so happy and so uplifting that she'd the one thats always cheering me up. But now I'm in her position. Lost in the stacks of work I have to do. Dammit. I need to scream. I can't take this. Byebye. Need to write that history essay about communism... which I am half finished with. (sigh) Good luck to me. Good luck to all.
previous & next
|