staring at that lost distance
(2001-03-28) 9:42 p.m.
I am selfish, I really am. Poor diaries. *pat pat* I know I've signed up for too many and just when you thought I was going to continue writing, I stop. Not because I lost interest, but.. but, well. But. Whatever follows the but would be a mystery. La la. I wish there would be something worth talking about but nothing in my life is really worth anything, so why are you reading this anyway? Life's climbing up that hill ever so slowly. I hate writing this late at night when my mind's all foggy because I'm not thinking and I have no idea what I am talking about. I like marshmallows. Those ones thats toasted over the fire for a while. I wouldn't even mind if it was a little burnt. Anyway. You see my point.. my random babbles of nothing. This is what this diary has come to. My brain is fried. Literally. And I make up these stories of how I feel and really, I don't have a clue where my feelings are. They're stored away somewhere. When I think about the things that happened in my life, I see a gray monotonous stripe. Really? Well, nothing. It's the gray on the default windows internet bars and programs and such. That ugly light gray. Well, maybe it wouldn't be so ugly if I hadn't seen it SO damn much. But then. I tried changing the colors once and it just looked horrible. So I stuck with this color.. even if its boring. Ha. Like my boooring life. Once upon a time, I wanted a change, but that just didn't work. It causes more trouble than not. Would you choose boring or complicated? Oooh, I'd take boring. Just because I can make myself easily amused. Ha. I'm so funny. I crack myself up. Ha ha. Damn, I'm a sad little freak aren't I? Oh, its great. You'd love to be me, wouldn't you?
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