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I finished reading "The Hanged Man" by Francesca Lia Block in less than 2 hours.. maybe just a little bit more than an hour. It really stained my mind of dreams and desires. Thats really what all her books are about, isn't it?

My gosh.. I want to write like her. I want to be a writer because of her. I am so in love with her writing. *sigh* The book is really based on tarot cards. There is the Moon, The Magican, The Queen of Cups, The Lovers, The Star... it goes on. The story is based on a troubled teen whose father had died from cancer. She had stopped eating as a result, and started dreaming.. obsessing about death. She'd describe her dreams and her past which creates a whole other story which describes her character even more.

It's so symbolic.. so deep, that I couldn't understand the hidden message. Okay, so maybe I am just missing it here.. but I was really just focusing on the writing. It just demonstrates the teen spirit so perfectly.. not only teens, but people, life in general. Everyone in the main character's life is far from perfect. Far from normal. It's almost like a fairy tale.. a non perfect fairy tale of course.. not with a happy happily after ending. It just.. goes on without an ending.

I feel like I'm living the book. Although I am not that troubled, I can relate. There are so many things going on in my mind.. my past, my future, my dreams all going on, collapsing with the present. This book illustrates the thought process. And shows how everything does have a connection. (sigh) I really wish I found out just what it is.

And I have one more book to read from her. "Witch Baby" I only borrowed it just yesterday.. and I already finished one. I should read more often. Its sparkling writing.. writing with her own name. She uses allusions so well.. like she'd name Beauty and the Beast.. and King Midol with his gold touch. Makes you explore other thoughts.. think about it, analyze it. Its a wonderful thought process, really.

Anyway. About that Survivor thing.. I realized that it was for my other diary. Oops. Well, I'm still not going to do it. I hate being judged from my writing. I want to write for myself.. not for a couple of judges who's going to vote me off.

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