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It's getting really hot.. well actually, it IS really hot. Yet, I love this warm suffocating weather. Oh, I can still breathe and all of course. Because I like this sticky feeling of summer. It gives me the feelings of fun summers so carefree and when I actually looked forward to being a grade higher. It reminds me to be happy and not let this whole school thing get to me.

It's strange. I think I tolerate the heat more than I had before.. like from last year. I couldn't stand the heat then.. I always needed air conditioning or something. Now I enjoy it. I mean, I'd think it is hot.. but I don't find it that uncomfortable. I'm not like my brother.. having a fan right next to me.. haha. I don't need that.

Today was a happy day. At least, I refused to make it sad. Why be sad? So I'm like this all day: =] Actually.. that looks kind of forced. Okay. But you get the point. I just hate being sad. It was going to be a happy day and I made it happy. And that's that. Ooh. I'm stubborn even to myself.

My toe still hurts. I accidently tore my big right toe nail and it bled this morning, much to my dismay. I didn't really have time to properly wash it out so it's all soaked in dried blood that I can't wash off. Sorry to make you sick and all.. but believe me.. there's worse scenarios. Like when I was cutting an apple and the knife slipped = Anyway. I'll shut up before I go on rabbling about that. That was in sixth grade and I still have nightmares.

So today I wore these sandals, with a big band-aid on that toe... except that it keeps slipping off. Strangely, Shamala has band-aids on her feet too. Ha ha. Hers kept slipping off today.. and eventually one DID. I tried to prevent mine from doing the same thing by occasionally bending down to close the flaps of flying bandage sides.. but it just looked weird. What's more weird? A bloody toe or my bending down ever-so-often to touch my toe? Ha ha. Ooh.. who really would care any---way?

I don't have much work to do today. Of course, on my free time, I'm supposed to study for the testing on saturday. (shudders) I don't want to think about it.. but it'd really suck if I do poorly. I myself don't care that much.. but in this world of competiveness.. I HAVE to. Arrgh. I don't want to know whoever created this whole SATs thing. (sigh) How much pain has this testing caused Americans nationwide? But then again.. the UC's aren't paying that much attention to the SAT scores now. BUT, that's not necessarily good.. because I don't have that great GPA, leadership skills, great participation in activities, great participation in community services.. and all those stuff colleges look for. So I'm just.. well, nothing. = Nice reminder, yeah.

I also found out that I have speech deficiency and stuff. (sigh) So many problems. You see.. I can't just make up a speech. I stumble. Today in lit, I didn't know what to say because I haven't finished preparing what I was going to say. So I made up a bunch of crap, and I keep saying things wrong. Instead of saying, "Cal rejects Kathy's idea", I said, "Cal rejects Cal's idea". Yeah.. haha. I kept rambling on and on.. but you know that I'm good at that. It's okay in writing But once I'm talking like that.. it sounds really horrible. Some people were distracting me by whispering, so it got worse. ;( And then the teacher was looking at me so carefully.. she had on such a strange expression... that probably says that I suck as well. Of course she would never say it.. this is a teacher that does not tolerate any cuss words.. any "mean" behavior, so of course not. I guess my mind isn't as fast as my words.

Maybe that's why I take so long to write? Because I can't think as fast as I type as well. That's why it's best to NOT think. It makes everything a bit easier.. It makes things more interesting.. You remember my ramblings at night where nothing makes sense. That's a result of that no-thinking thing. It works. Except that I can't do it right now in the hot afternoon. I just felt like writing something because later I can't. More screaming is going to proceed, I predict. You wouldn't want to hear about that, would you? No.

I guess I should dust off the dust on the ancient SAT book that I'm supposed to be looking through. While looking through of course, I'm supposed to stare at the words long enough to imitate studying. What's studying supposed to mean, anyway? It's not like I'm going to remember anything. Well.. it's better than nothing, I guess.

Je t'aime. Tu m'aime. Nous sommes une grande famille heureuse. Avec une grande �treinte et baise de moi � toi. Est-ce que tu dis que tu m'aime aussi?

Yes, that's my version of the Barney song in French. My own personal translation of course ;) So it might not even be the correct French.. but that's okay. No one will really care or anything.. it's solely for my own amusement.

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